FANCY MAN OF HOGWARTS
Thanks to Em not only for looking this over, but for giving me a Teddy so that I could find myself a James.Oi, Sam!
So what is this? You get a posh new job selling snotty kids expensive sweets and you forget all about your mates—mates who taught you everything you know about sweets in the first place, mind!
That is a piss-poor kind of bloke to be, Samuel Graves, and I’m afraid I cannot let the excellent chap I’ve known these long eight years spiral downward into piss-pooredness. (We will not, mind you, discuss my own fault in allowing communication to decay since leaving our hallowed halls. THIS IS ABOUT YOU, MY GOOD SIR, PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT.)
Now see here, this is how it will be. I know for a fact that you do not work past four o’clock on Fridays, and as such you will be expected to be first at the Dragon and save us a seat and buy our first round, drink it all yourself as you wait, and then buy a second round for when those among us with normal working hours can descend upon the same and claim our well-earned prizes. “We” and “us” and “our” being defined hereafter as you, Mr Graves, and myself, the esteemed and illustrious Mr Potter.
Tut, spare me your quibbling! So it is writ, and so it must be done. ON YOUR HONOR, GOOD SIR.
And with that, I bid you good day.
Yours in surviving the Pasty Pukefest of ’18,
JSP, Fancy Man of Hogwarts
Of course, they held him late at work. He blew into the Dragon's Wing with the wind and rain and he pushed off his cloak as he searched the room for Sam. The blond-haired boy waved to him from a back corner, and James smiled, glad that either through his friend's innate shyness or possibly a sense of what the subject would eventually turn to, they would get some privacy tonight.
"Sorry, sorry!" James said, putting his sopping cloak on the back of his chair. He grabbed the pint waiting for him, holding it up to his mate. "Cheers. Stupid work."
Sam smiled, tolerant as always for James's life. That was why James liked him—Sam never got impatient when his friend had to go be someone else for a while.
That was why Sam was going to be the first one to know.
"You're lucky I'm a nurser," Sam said in his funny half-Welsh accent that seven years at Hogwarts didn't manage to erase. "Mark would've been pissed by the time you arrived."
James chuckled. "Pissed and turned down by every bird here. Oi." A waitress walked past and James caught her attention, miming for a menu. He knew what they had here—it was a pub, standard fare was standard—but James liked to make careful decisions before committing.
"True enough, eh." Sam leaned forward a bit. "Order me some chips, yeah? Need something salty. We had a small catastrophe today and I fear for my teeth with all the taffy we had to eat." James rewarded Sam for his hook with an eyebrow and a small hand gesture—continue, please. Sam pulled out his tale just like the taffy that'd gone out of control in the back room of Curious Corrin's Confectionery (on the High Street of a small town just north of Cardiff, mainly wizarding in population but with enough Muggle tourists to make self-pulling taffy a dangerous product), while James enjoyed his pint and stole Sam's chips. He made short work of his turkey sandwich, relaxing after a long day at work, momentarily letting himself forget that he had to be in tomorrow for the best part of a Saturday—all of it.
Story told and audience amused, Sam sat back and picked at his napkin. "S'pose you didn't brave this lovely weather we're having for my stories of daring adventures in sweets, yeah?"
"Oh come off it," James protested, all the louder as really, he did have a greater purpose this evening. "It's been too damn long, mate, and even though you're quiet, I miss hanging out with you." He waggled his eyebrows. "How's Fee, then? That still on?"
Sam flushed, just a bit. "Yeah, still on. She's . . ." He laughed a bit. "Somehow, she's a bit mad for me, Jamesy. I keep waiting for her to figure out I'm nothing special."
"You're a twat if you think that, Samuel!" James winked, slumping back in his chair and resting his hands on his stomach, the pose of a well-fed man who isn't quite drunk enough to forget himself and undo his zip. "If she's mad for you then it's because she's got more of a head on her than I've given her credit, and realised what a smashing bloke you are. Don't go taking yourself out of it yet, promise?"
"Yeah, all right," Sam said, smiling and nodding, then hiding his pleasure at James's words in his glass as he took a pull. "What about you then? A bit of news does make its way out here with the sheep-shaggers, mate." Sam grinned and scooted his chair around the table a bit, leaning closer. "Edie Halifax, is that right?"
James's smile slipped a bit. "The news is a bit slow to you, I'm afraid. Past tense now; she's off in Malaysia, actually, so we split before she left." Sam nodded sympathetically. "And before you ask for details, I'll only tell you that unless you are less of a gentleman than I expect, I do believe you owe me ten Galleons." He beamed and held out his hand, wiggling his fingers.
Sam groaned and dropped his head back. "Curse my gentle nature, and curse the fact that I actually like my girlfriend enough to not shag her on the first date." He grinned, though, and dug into his pockets.
"Oi, wanker, not the first date at all!" James said, a little stung at the suggestion. Not too, stung, of course: "I was in it for the long haul. Second date, my friend." Sam laughed and threw a few gold coins at James.
"Only have four on me, though I did buy you two pints—"
"One of which you drank!"
"—so I should say I'll owe you for another five before we call it quits, aye?"
James swept the coins into his hand and tucked them in his own pocket. "Fair enough, Mr Graves. I refuse to take your marker, though, as I am quite certain of your impeccable moral character and the fact that I can hex your knob off if you try to welsh." He looked around, frowning. "Er, if you'll pardon the expression."
Sam snorted. "Just for that I'm taking one Galleon back and you'll be lucky to have the other four for your Christmas shopping."
James laughed, amused at how easily he fell back into old patterns with his mates from school. He wondered if Teddy would even recognize him like this, and part of him was a little surprised to realise he hoped not. He liked himself better with Teddy, and he was sure Teddy would like his Jamie better than this James.
Well, while spirits are high, James thought, and he cleared his throat and leaned closer to Sam. "Actually, a bit of a tangent to that subject is what got me off my arse to meet you up," he said, his voice low and serious.
"A tangent to what?" Sam asked. "Shagging your bird?"
James tapped his nose. "Like I said, Edie and I split up about two weeks back. But . . . I'm seeing someone else now."
Sam chuckled. "That's my Fancy Man, barely a breather. Who's this one then? Someone else from above our year? S'pose it'd have to be, you dated near everyone in our year, and I don't imagine you'd have many dates with someone who's still up at Hogwarts."
James nodded slowly. "Older, yeah. Definitely older. Er, not to say . . . old or anything. Was there during our first year, then finished. S'not the point, though, Sam."
Sam's brow was furrowed a bit, clearly trying to find the point in James's nervous rambling. "Not someone embarrassing, is she? Come on, Jamesy, tell me who it is!" He nudged James's arm lightly.
Now that he'd come to it, he found the words sticking a bit. It was easier with Mum and Dad, really, as backwards as that sounded. "Sam, I . . ." His mouth worked around the words, opening and closing with no sound coming out.
"James? Shit, I'm sure it's fine. If she had spots at fifteen I'm sure she's grown out of them by now. . . ."
Suddenly it came out in a whispered rush: "M'dating Teddy Lupin, Sam. Remember him?" He stressed the last word, thinking maybe if he didn't have to say the label, Sam would be more likely to accept this new James Potter more easily.
But Sam just blinked, staring at James for a long moment, before whispering, "Teddy Lupin, former Gryffindor Keeper Teddy Lupin?" James could only nod, his mouth dry and wishing he could gulp from his pint but it was too close to empty, the death of the optimist. "Isn't Lupin, like, your brother, sort of?"
James laughed, a slightly-choked noise of relief and surprise. "No, not like my brother. My dad's godson, but not . . ." He took a deep breath. "Al's my brother. Teddy's . . . he's Teddy." He smiled softly, a reflex now whenever his mind stopped to think about everything that Teddy was for him. He looked sideways at Sam, his smile fading. "And he's . . . a bloke."
Sam nodded, looking at the table as he picked at a crack in the wood. "Yep. I did catch that part." He was quiet for another moment, and James let him have the time to settle that new fact in his brain. "So. Both then?"
"Yeah. I mean, Edie was brilliant, and we had fun." James's eyes were wide. "Lots of fun, considering our short time together," he added with a chuckle.
"But Teddy's . . ." Sam searched for a word, then gave up with a shrug.
James shook his head. "Not just Teddy. I mean, now, yes, all Teddy. But it wasn't like I suddenly realised I was queer for him." James blushed a bit, refusing to catch Sam's eye. "Noticed other blokes before him."
Sam looked at him for a long moment, then his face burst into a grin and he leaned in closer. "Lance!" James's cheeks burned as Sam correctly named James's first significant crush on a boy, his Captain and friend from the year above; Sam started laughing. "Oh, you poor sod! Fuck, I'm well straight, and even I knew he was rather god-like." He tutted, and now James joined him in laughter, the sort of laughter usually reserved for wizards who'd nearly fallen from brooms or realised they'd just barely avoided splinching themselves after Apparating home from the pub. Thank all fuck I'm alive, the laugh said—or in James's case, thank all fuck he doesn't hate my guts.
Sam reached over and ruffled James's hair. "So you really are the Fancy Man of Hogwarts. You know, I always wondered why you took that title. . . ."
James batted Sam's hand away, grinning. "Well neither of you two blighters could ever hope to bear it!" He straightened up in his chair, finding a brief moment of perfect posture before slumping back down.
"It suits you, always has," Sam said with a quick wink. "So . . . you tell Mark yet?"
James shook his head. "Was hoping to get you in on it, figure against us both maybe he wouldn't panic about me being after his arse."
Sam snorted. "As if his arse is good enough for a poof." He nodded, though. "You know I'll always be your second, mate. Doesn't matter who I'll have to comfort after I avenge your grizzly death," and his voice lowered, "so long as he'd mourn you like you deserve."
Quickly James blinked back a tight feeling behind his eyeballs. "I think he'd insist on the vengeance himself, actually. Auror, you know," he said, giving Sam a fast smile. "Thank you," he added, softly.
Sam reached out and squeezed James's arm. "Thanks for telling me. We'll figure Mark out together, don't worry." He pressed his lips together, then asked, "Your parents know?"
"Yeah, yeah they know." James chuckled. "They're still sort of getting over the shock, but you know my parents, they're fine with it." Sam didn't need to know everything about how the outing process went with them. "Going up to Hogwarts for the Hogsmeade trip to tell Al and Lil. Other than that . . ." he gestured to Sam. "You're it, mate."
"Won't spill, you know I won't."
James smiled. "Yeah, I know." He reached over to grab his pint, holding the glass out to Sam. "Bottom's up?"
Sam clinked their glasses together and snickered, "Don't say that to Mark!" They both drank, then, finishing the last of their pints and bringing the glasses down hard on the table, causing the waitress to shoot them a glare.
James held up his glass, "Give us another then to keep us quiet!"
"Such a charmer, James Potter," Sam said with a grin as the waitress rolled her eyes and went over to the barkeep.
James, in a daring moment, caught the eye of the man behind the bar and winked, and was pleasantly surprised when the man grinned and clearly mouthed, "No charge."
"I charm them all," James said, smiling broadly and stretching back, feeling the weight of the world slip a little further off his shoulders.
fic home