PAST CURFEW
Written for Gillian, remembering ye olde Communiquills days before the final book.He caught her as she was trying sneak back in the house through a second-story window by climbing an ivy-covered trellis.
"I know you've been watching your figure, Miss Potter, but I still don't think that's strong enough to hold you another ten feet."
The girl gasped and turned around to face him, but managed to keep her grip. "Remus! Damnit, how did you know?"
Remus held his hand out to her, helping her down when she grasped it. "I may be a stodgy old werewolf, but I'm not quite senile yet." He smiled. "And I'm not as willfully blind as your parents are. I know you've been out at least once a week all holiday. Twice last week. Almost three, but it rained on Thursday and I suppose your plans were canceled?"
Julia bowed her head, her dark hair falling over her eyes. "Are you going to tell them?"
He made a show of considering the matter. "I don't know. I suppose it depends on what you've been sneaking out to do."
She crossed her arms, the epitome of teenage defiance. "I'm ringleader of a circle of thieves and vandals set on robbing the rich to give to the poor."
"As I suspected. Shall I be calling you Robin from now on?" They both grinned. "And have you yet found your Marian?"
Too late, Remus realised what he'd said, as the girl's face went pale and her eyes wide.
"What are you talking about?" Her voice was tight and suspicious, her body language defensive.
"Jules . . . I don't . . . " He frowned and swallowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
She looked at him carefully. "You didn't mean to say it. That doesn't sound like you don't really mean it."
Remus felt a flare of pride at his goddaughter's sharp mind, and settled on the idea that honesty was the best way to get out of this slip of tongue. "You're right. It was actually something I had been thinking for a while now. But I shouldn't have said anything, and you don't need to say anything on the subject either way." He hesitated, then added, "But I hope you know that it wouldn't be a problem. Certainly not for me, and not for your parents, either."
"What, have you talked to them about it?" Julia's voice was steady, save for the tiniest hint of panic. Remus quickly reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping to reassure her.
"No, Jules, I haven't said a word to them. And they haven't said anything to me, so I couldn't even tell you if they have suspicions."
"Well then you don't really know anything about how they'd react to their only daughter being a . . . a . . . "
Remus spoke gently. "A lesbian?"
"A freak dyke!"
"Julia, please listen to me. Beyond anything else, your parents adore you. Completely and utterly and that's the reason, first and foremost, that you should never be afraid to tell them anything about yourself. But just to add to that great gift – and your father can tell you, I'm sure, how precious a gift it is, growing up with family who loves you – they are also some of the most tolerant and open minded people it has ever been my fortune to know. They fought a war in the name of tolerance. Not just for blood status tolerance, but for everything. Age and creed and color and species and sexual preferences. That's what it all meant in the end, even if it didn't start that way."
Remus took a deep breath, and held up a hand to forestall any comments until he said his last bit. "Finally, I simply know how they would react. From personal experience."
The girl's eyebrows shot up towards her hairline. "You're gay? Since when?"
He nodded once. "Since I was, oh Merlin. Fourteen or fifteen? I couldn't tell you when I figured it out, really, not anymore."
Julia looked thoughtful. "And Mum and Dad know?"
"Oh yes. They learned that long ago. Just after the war ended, though I sometimes wish it had been sooner."
She was silent for a moment, and Remus let her sort out the thoughts in her mind. He and Julia, his Jules, had always been close, and he imagined that learning this new tidbit tonight would feel a confusing mixture of betrayal and relief. She walked away from him a bit, heading for the stone bench in the garden. She sat and he watched her, not daring to follow until she invited him into the space. He noticed, suddenly, the soft glow of wandlight coming from an upstairs window, and he waved it away. It went out immediately.
"Why . . . why was it a secret from us? Well, I guess I can understand why Anthony wouldn't know, but I'd say Brian and are I bloody old enough to understand!"
Remus didn't bother scolding her for her language. "Jules, I promise you, if it had ever been relevant, I would have made sure you knew. But I haven't had a partner or even dated since before you were born, and it just never seemed to matter. It wasn't something that was actively kept from you."
"But you still did keep it from me. Bloody hell, Remus, I've been sneaking out to meet my girlfriend all summer, I've been wondering about why I'm different for years, and all this time you're the same and could've told me it was all okay? That I didn't have to be scared of my parents finding out, scared that they'd be disappointed in me?"
"I'm sorry for that. I truly am. If I had started considering this possibility earlier, I might well have said something sooner. And I would have told you just what I'm telling you now."
She dropped her hands into her head, and Remus couldn't resist the urge to sit down next to her and wrap an arm around her back. "It's funny. Your grandmother did almost the same thing to me. She'd suspected that I was seeing . . . one of our mutual friends, and in the middle of a conversation about our generic respective love lives, or possible lack thereof, she let it slip." He smiled at the memory. "I was horrified, because I'd only barely survived your grandfather being told, and at least then he was told properly. But Lily, oh that scared me for a moment, thinking that we weren't as discrete as I'd thought, that maybe everyone knew."
"Did they?" Julia's voice was small.
Remus shrugged. "If they did, they never said anything. Things were different back then. Well," he reconsidered, "I suppose if you were still scared of your parents finding out, then things aren't really so different. It's just dressed up prettier now, given the option for pomp and circumstance. I suppose that's something."
"I'm not about to get married, Remus."
He chuckled. "I should hope not! And I don't even know if I would have bothered, if we could have. It may have helped, or maybe it would've just made things more complicated, in the end. I think my cousin would have done it, though. He was a romantic, his passionate Italian blood." Remus smiled, remembering Gianni fondly. "He was never the same after his partner died."
Julia bit her lip and tilted her head, looking up at her godfather. "What about you? Is that why you . . . don't date?"
Remus sighed. "I think the complicated story of my past romantic pursuits is best left for the daytime hours. You should get inside and to bed before your father decides spying from the window isn't enough and comes down here, and it's way past my bedtime as well."
"But . . . "
He rose, more slowly than he would have in the past, his old bones protesting. "We'll talk more again. I promise. But first you need to talk to your parents. At least so they know you're not robbing anyone, rich or poor. It's up to you how much to tell them; I promise I won't breathe a word that you want kept quiet, but I really think they'll be okay."
Julia stood as well and threw her arms around him; he hugged her back tightly. "Thank you, Remus."
"You're welcome, Jules." He let her go, and she began walking towards the back door. "Oh, I forgot to ask – what's her name?"
The girl pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. "Alice."
Remus nodded. "I'll want to hear all about her someday, all right?"
Julia agreed, then turned and ran into the house, closing the door as quietly as she could. After sparing a fond glance heavenward to the southern sky, just over the horizon and the bright star that dominated the darkness, Remus Apparated home, preparing for a long night awake with his memories.
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